Play Therapy & Grief

When Words Aren’t Enough: How Play Therapy Can Support Children Through Loss and Grief

When a child experiences loss, whether it’s the death of someone they love, the separation of their parents, or another major change; the world can suddenly feel unfamiliar. As adults, we often want to protect our children from pain, to fix or soften what hurts. Yet grief isn’t something we can take away. It’s something we can help our children carry; with love, presence, and understanding.

In my work at Inspiring Play: Play Therapy Sunshine Coast, I’ve seen again and again that children express their grief through play long before they can put it into words. Play is their language, their bridge between what feels too big inside and what can be shared safely outside.

David Kessler, a leading grief specialist, reminds us that “grief must be witnessed to be healed.” For children, that witnessing often happens not through talking, but through the gentle rhythm of play; where toys, sand trays, puppets, or drawings become containers for feelings too heavy to hold alone.

How Play Therapy Helps Children Process Loss

Play therapy offers a safe and developmentally attuned space where children can:

• Express what words can’t capture. Through play, children show us how they feel inside; their confusion, sadness, anger or fear, without needing to explain.

• Rehearse and make sense of change. Play allows children to revisit moments of loss in manageable ways, finding new endings or imagining ways to stay connected to who or what they’ve lost.

• Regain a sense of safety and control. When everything feels uncertain, the predictability of the playroom and the consistent presence of a caring therapist can help a child’s nervous system settle.

• Hold onto love while making space for life. Kessler’s work on “finding meaning” invites us to see grief not as letting go, but as learning how to hold love and loss together.

When children have supportive, emotionally attuned adults around them, they’re more likely to adapt to loss with resilience and hope. But perhaps even more important than any technique is the relationship; the sense of safety, trust, and connection that allows a child to feel seen and understood.

A Note to Parents Walking This Path

If you are grieving too; please know that your child doesn’t need you to be perfect. They need you to be real. They need your steady presence, your gentle honesty, and your willingness to sit beside them in feelings you wish you could take away.

Sometimes, parents tell me they worry about showing sadness in front of their child. But children learn emotional safety not when we hide our tears, but when they see us feel and recover. It teaches them that emotions, even the painful ones, can be survived.

As you consider play therapy, trust your intuition. Notice how your child responds to the therapist: Do they seem relaxed? Curious? Willing to return? The connection between child and therapist is the heartbeat of the work. When that relationship feels right, healing begins.

Gentle Take-Away Messages

1. Grief has no timeline. Children move in and out of it; one moment playing happily, the next deeply sad. This rhythm is normal.

2. Play is their voice. What might look like “just play” is often a powerful language of healing.

3. Connection is the medicine. Healing happens in safe, loving relationships; within the family, and within therapy.

4. Your presence matters more than your words. Simply sitting beside your child as they grieve is profoundly healing.

5. Reach out for support, for both of you. You don’t have to navigate this alone.

If you sense your child is struggling with loss, or if you simply want to offer them a safe space to process what’s happened, please reach out. At Inspiring Play: Play Therapy Sunshine Coast, I offer a compassionate, child-centred approach that honours each child’s unique way of grieving. Together, we can help your child feel seen, understood, and held; so that healing can gently begin.

Inspiring Play: Play Therapy Sunshine Coast, Queensland

References

• Kessler, D. (2019). Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief. Scribner.

• American Psychological Association. (2022). Evidence-based practices for grief. apa.org

• National Alliance for Children’s Grief. (2024). Supporting grieving children through play. childrengrieve.org