Seeking Help for Your Child

When You’ve Done Everything Right… and Still Feel Unheard

You’ve been worried for a while now. Something about your child's development just feels… not quite right. Maybe it’s their sleep, their behaviour, their mood, or their health. You’ve noticed the patterns. You’ve tried all the things. Your child's Educators and Teachers have expressed their concerns. And finally, you make the decision, it’s time to seek help. You save up for months, then you get that referral, again you wait on the long list for months, sometimes years. You hold onto hope: maybe this appointment will finally give us some answers.

And then, when you finally get there, you hear something like:

“Lots of kids are like this.”

“It’s probably just a phase.”

“Try not to worry.”

"They'll grow out of it!"

You leave the room feeling lost, confused, and defeated. Maybe you start to wonder, Am I just overreacting? But deep down, you know something’s not right.

This experience has a name. It’s called medical gaslighting; when a professional unintentionally minimises or dismisses what you’re seeing or feeling. I here this same story from families over and over.

What It Can Look Like

• Your child’s pain or behaviour is brushed off without much investigation.

• You’re told to “wait and see” again and again, even though months, or sometimes years, have passed.

• You walk away feeling like you’ve done something wrong for asking questions.

And then your child's teachers pressure you for answers. They are desperate for strategies to support your child. They need to understand your child. So, you start the cycle all over again.You save tirelessly to rebook that appointment. You wait. You hope.

Why This Happens (and Why It’s Not Your Fault)

Medical gaslighting often isn’t deliberate. Doctors and specialists are under pressure, time-poor, or often working with incomplete information. But even when it’s unintentional, the impact on families can be real and significant.

Studies show that when parents’ concerns are dismissed, children often go longer without accurate diagnoses, and parents lose confidence in their instincts. Some families even stop seeking help altogether because they’re scared of being brushed off yet again.

What You Can Do

Trust your instincts. You know your child better than anyone else. That quiet knowing inside you is powerful.

Write things down. Keep notes about what you notice; symptoms, moods, changes, observations. Keep Teacher reports and note incidents from Daycare/Aftercare. It helps paint the full picture.

Ask questions. Write your questions down. Try:

• “What else could this be?”

• “When should I worry?”

• “What are the next steps if things don’t improve?”

• "What is developmentally appropriate for my child's age?"

Bring support. A partner, friend, or relative can help you feel grounded and heard in appointments.

Where possible, seek a second opinion. A caring professional will listen and work with you.

Take care of you, too. Feeling dismissed is really difficult. It’s okay to feel angry, confused, or sad. Those feelings make total sense.

You are your child’s safe place and strongest advocate. You are not “too much.” You are tuned in. Parenting often calls for both softness and strength; to listen deeply, to speak up when needed, and to keep holding onto hope even when it’s hard.

Inspiring Play: Play Therapy Sunshine Coast, Queensland